DescriptionA few facts about our ship... * The USS Chuck Norris is Star Fleet's only ship named after a living person. * The USS Chuck Norris is the only starship that has a roundhouse kick in its weapons arsenal. * The USS Chuck Norris doesn't carry photon torpedoes. Opening hailing frequencies usually does the trick. * Captain Picard was offered command of the USS Chuck Norris, but turned it down because he wanted to seek out new life, not kill it. * Captain Kirk was offered command of the USS Chuck Norris, but turned it down because Chuck Norris told him to. * Captain Archer wasn't offered command of the USS Chuck Norris. He was too young. * The USS Chuck Norris broke the starship speed record. Its warp engines were installed the next day. * The USS Chuck Norris rarely engages its engines. Its transporter range is the entire universe. * Q once tried to appear on the bridge of the USS Chuck Norris. He's still in the brig. * The USS Chuck Norris has never raised its shields. No one would dare fire on the Chuck Norris. * The Borg once tried to assimilate the USS Chuck Norris. Their collective consciousness is now Chuck Norris's. * The USS Chuck Norris doesn't have a life support system. It doesn't need a crew. * The USS Chuck Norris doesn't have a subspace communications system. Its iPhone (version 1) still seems to be working fine. * The USS Chuck Norris launched. The Q continuum surrendered to the Federation the next day. * The USS Chuck Norris doesn't use phasers. Its roundhouse kick is much more effective, and instantly deadly.
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Greg Lindahl