Olympia Times 054

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Olympia PBEM

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Player-contributed press

Because of fear of unrest and a large influx of immigrants to a continent with low resources, visitors to DRUCARTAN are asked to procure a visa before entering the area. Drucartan is a very peacefull continent, where AOO and non AOO factions live in peace and harmony. No noble has ever been attacked in Drucartan by another noble.

If you want a visa, please send a message to John Sen[m6f], describing the nobles in the party, the size of the party, and the reason for visiting Drucartan. There is no fee, and requests will only be refused in rare ( i.e. I am bringing 2000 men (or dragons) to kill all nobles ) circumstances.

-- The Sen Clan [di4]

At length, towards noon, upon the final dismissal of the ship's riggers, and after the Pequod had been hauled out from the wharf, and after the ever-thoughtful Charity had come off in a whaleboat, with her last gift --a night-cap for Stubb, the second mate, her brother-in-law, and a spare bible for the steward -- after all this, the two captains, Peleg and Bildad, issued from the cabin, and turning to the chief mate, Peleg said: Now, Mr. Starbuck, are you sure everything is right? Captain Ahab is all ready --just spoke to him --nothing more to be got from shore, eh? Well, call all hands, then. Muster 'em aft here --blast 'em! Ship and boat diverged; the cold, damp night breeze blew between; a screaming gull flew overhead; the two hulls wildly rolled; we gave three heavy-hearted cheers, and blindly plunged like fate into the lone Atnos Channel. (Adapted from Moby Dick by Herman Melville).

-- Phaze Shifters [gk7]

It appears that once again I must announce that the world is most definitely flat. If you will sail to the edge of the world as I have, look down as you sail to what appears to be oblivion. You too will then see just how flat the world is, and then by some magic, you will be teleported to the far side of the world. This must be some strong magic indeed, for do you know the cost to teleport a full roundship?

-- The Flat World Society [ks3]

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Maps are available! Get yours today from the Illustrated Man [s5e] in the Imperial City! If you're a new player, only 75 gold plus your surface mail address for all the info known about Provinia and the world! For experienced players, ask about a blow-up of your area!

-- The Midnight Carnival [nx2]

The young noble sat at his desk in a small library within Castle Coercri, trying to concentrate on the book in front of him. It lay open to a picture of two nazgul, one preparing to mount the other. The caption read, "Insert tab A into slot B." That's what all of the captions in this book seemed to read. Ok, some variations existed, such as the one for sea serpents, which read 'Insert tab A, B, or C in slot D, but by no means allow the use of slot E, or F, since the results of that operation are undefined." He didn't *even* want to meet an animal that had three tabs.

He was well into his fourth week of studying animal husbandry this month, and he was having a hard time keeping at it. "If only something would happen to break the monotony," he mused to himself, as he turned the page to show a picture of a ratspider being mounted by a dragon.

Suddenly, there was a clatter of footsteps coming up the hallway, a frantic pounding on the door, and a voice shouting, "My Lord Greyfletch! Urgent news!"

"Come in!" Arlon said, as he rose, glad of the interruption. The door opened and a man came in, dressed in muddy rags. It was Pug, one of the peasants Andre had collected in a mudhole south of here. His face was flushed with excitement, and his breath came quickly.

"Sire, y'know those savages that came into the province last month? The ones you wuz worried that they might attack the temple?" asked Pug.

"Yes, are they still about? I was hoping they would wander off. Don't tell me they really are attacking the temple?" replied the young nobleman, concern beginning to show on his face.

"No Sire, you don't have to worry 'bout that no more. They're attacking this'n here castle! We're all gonna die!" At this point Pug's knees gave way and he collapsed to the floor, slobbering and wailing.

Arlon sighed, looking at the pitiful wretch. "If only I'd spent a day training you, you'd be a fine, brave soldier by now. I suppose it's too late for that at this point, though. Well, if we're going to die, I'd rather not do it in here, let's go see what they are doing."

With a few well-placed kicks (administered with the tender care expected of a noble dealing with a peasant), Arlon persuaded Pug to lead the way to the wall overlooking the savage mob preparing to assault the castle. A small group of peasants was on the wall, peeking between the crenellations, and placing bets on how long it'd take before the savages killed them.

A hundred paces from the wall, a crowd of savages milled, as their leader, a vicious looking brute, well over six feet tall, and painted with stylish mauve and turquoise stripes, pounded on a drum. Every now and then, one of the savages would grab something off of the ground and throw it with surprising strength and accuracy at one of the heads looking over the top of the wall.

Arlon peered over the wall for a moment, then pulled his head back in time to avoid a squirrel that came sailing up over the wall. "Looks like a bit more than two dozen of them, and not particularly well armed. What's our strength?"

"Twelve of us peasants, and yerself, sir. And there be 27 of 'em, counting that big feller leadin' 'em," replied a tough looking peasant with flaming red hair and a lantern jaw.

Arlon looked at the peasant for a moment, pointed at him and said, "You're Tug, aren't you? Pug's brother?" Not waiting for the beefy looking man's nod, Arlon continued, "Any weapons?"

"None, Sir, 'cepting your sword."

"Hmmm, awkward. They outnumber us two to one, but we do have the not inconsiderable advantage of these good stone walls. The Lords of Revelstone built this place well, I'm thankful that they let us use it. We stand a more than decent chance."

At this point the savage leader dropped his drum and started screaming some sort of gibberish, then they all started charging towards the wall.

Arlon watched the charging savages and muttered to himself, "If only we had a holocaust cloak. Oh well, just have to make do with what we have. Pug! Take everyone but Tug and run down to the mess hall and bring up some chairs, and anything else heavy that you can find."

None of the peasants hesitated at the opportunity to get as far as possible from the savage charge the was now almost to the base of the wall. In scant moments, Arlon and Tug stood alone on the wall. Tug turned to Arlon and asked "What now, m'lord?"

"We wait and see what they do. They've still got to get up this wall, and they seem to be lacking in ladders. In the mean time, trot on into the gatehouse and get a couple of brooms from the janitor's closet," Arlon said, as he carefully peeked around a crenellation to watch the attack reach the base of the wall.

Tug gave Arlon a look that showed that he thought his leader had lost his mind, but he ran off to obey anyway.

The savage charge broke against the wall, and so did the nose of one of the savages. They clearly weren't used to attacking fortifications, and were learning that gang-tackling a castle wasn't very effective.

Arlon stepped back from the parapet for a moment and waited as Tug came rushing back with a pair of brooms. "What do we do with these, sir?"

"Take a look over the edge, and see what they are doing," replied Arlon, with a confident smile.

"They're climbing up on each other's shoulders, building a human pyramid. They'll be up here in no time," Tug said as he pulled his head back in time to avoid a gopher that was thrown over the wall at him.

"Yup, they may be ignorant savages, but they aren't stupid. Well, at least not completely stupid. Hand me a broom and stand over there. Whenever a head appears over the wall, wallop him with your broom. They should be enough to topple the pyramid and make them start over."

So the pair spend the next several minutes bashing savages and getting some stickball practice, swinging at the occasional rodent that came flying over the wall. It was becoming clear that Tug had more power, but Arlon was hitting more often for average, when Pug and the other peasants cautiously approached carrying their loads.

"We got all of the chairs and a few other things. The table was too big to carry all the way up here. Union regs say we don't hafta carry anything heavier than 20 stone up stairs," said Pug as he arrived and set down the crate he was carrying.

"Right. This lot will have to do then. Start dropping stuff over the wall on their heads. That ought to discourage them," said Arlon as he hefted a chair and sent it falling onto a savage's head with a satisfying *THUMP*.

All of the peasants quickly joined in. What they may have lacked in accuracy, they more than made up for with enthusiasm. Unfortunately, enthusiasm doesn't crack skulls, and it was beginning to look like there would still be a fair number of savages left when the furniture ran out. Arlon sat down on a crate to consider what to do next.

It didn't take long at all until the peasants had finished their task and were waiting for further orders. Arlon looked up at Pug and asked "How many of them left?"

Pug looked over the edge and began counting "One, two, three, five, six, uh wait, I forgot something.. One, two, three, eight, five, *WHACK!* Unnnh!"

Arlon looked up in time to see Pug collapse away from the parapet with a field mouse embedded between his eyes, it's tail still twitching (the mouse's, not Pug's). Tug quickly rushed to his brother's side, checked for a pulse, then looked up smiling, "Dead! Finally! I was beginning to think I'd never collect on that insurance policy I've been paying fer all these years."

"Right. That's too bad. Alright Tug, you count them," was Arlon's only comment on this sterling example of brotherly love.

Tug looked over the edge and quickly counted, as he bobbed and weaved to avoid a hail of shrews and moles. "Looks like we got 13 of 'em. That's half, maybe they'll run away? I know I sure would."

Arlon sighed, "Yes, I'm sure you would. But I'm afraid these untrained savages will probably fight to the last man, which will probably be the big guy with the penchant for percussion music. We'll have to find another way to get rid of them. Isn't there *anything* left we can throw?"

"Only that case of 'Orc Oil Ice-Brew' yer sittin' on, sir," said tug, pointing to the heavy crate that Arlon was resting upon. It was a fair sized crate, full of ice-blue bottles padded with mildewing straw.

"Yeech, what's that stuff doing here?" Arlon asked as he quickly got off the crate.

"The Lords of Revelstone left it here as a welcoming present when they loaned us the use of this'n here castle, m'lord."

The young noble sighed and said, "Well, toss it over. See if you can take two of them with one shot."

The case was quickly hurled over the edge and managed to completely miss the somewhat depleted mob of savages still milling about the base of the wall. Upon impact, the crate burst open, littering the ground with gleaming ice-blue bottles.

The savages, parched from all their work in the hot sun, wasted no time in taking advantage of the opportunity to slake their thirsts. Soon every savage had a bottle open (with only a few broken teeth in the process), and was chugging down cool, refreshing, Orc Oil Ice-Brew.

Arlon watched this and smiled, "Right! Tug, go down to the kitchen and get a dozen meat tenderizers. the rest of you, head down to the gates."

Meanwhile, outside the wall, the savages were feeling refreshed and ready to resume the attack, when they suddenly began doubling over with intense abdominal cramps. Several began vomiting, while others collapsed to the ground, twitching and groaning. Even their fierce and stylishly painted leader began clutching at his belly as his face turned a shade of green that clashed horribly with his turquoise stripes.

As the savage horde was reduced to a quivering pile of agonized (but refreshed!) bodies, each still clutching his ice-blue bottle, Arlon and the remaining eleven peasants came charging out of the gates. Each of the peasants was waving a little hammer with pointy bumps on it's faces. The peasants quickly fell upon the hapless savages, putting them out of their misery with less than a dozen blows each (on average).

In the mean time, Arlon rushed over to the savage leader, just in time to get his boots covered with the recent contents of the now less-than stylishly colored leader's stomach.

"Oh nuts! And Pug's too dead to clean them up for me, too," Arlon sighed as he began to tie the savage leader's hands behind his back. "I guess war really *is* hell."

Arlon waited while the peasants finished tenderizing the heads of the other savages, then ordered, "Take this guy into the infirmary. If he survives the Orc Oil Ice-Brew, I'll want to talk to him."

As Arlon headed back into the castle, he reflected "Well, it sure beats another day studying animal husbandry"

[editor's note: the Savage survived, with a health of 13, truly an indication of the exceptionally strong constitution savages have.]

-- House Greyfletch [pb7]

Gooodd MMOOORRNNNIINNGG OlymmpiiiiiAAAA. Greetings from the Saturators, a new bunch of adventurers popping into existence in a city near you.

The Saturators are a group of frontiers men, with a bother. Imperial city is too overcrowded, they want to find somewhere quiet. Problem is they don't know where the wilderness is.

If anyone can tell them where to head to find unclaimed and unsettled lands give them a holler. If anyone stuck in Imperial city wants to join in, yell out too.

-- The Saturators [qd2]

---------------------- S. CAMARIS Update ----------------------

Monthly notice: any new visitors to our fair isle should notify us in advance.

-- The Crazy Quilters [vn7]

The Olympia Atlas is accepting contributions, and is available for download! Be the first to contribute information for unexplored lands (Faery).

In the tradition of Oleg's Map (tm), the Atlas is a compilation of geographical information useful for explorers, traders, and adventurers. Best of all, it's absolutely free!

To contribute to the Atlas, simply send turn excerpts (cut out all the incriminating parts) that contain the following information:

o) Mapping data (region & route info) o) City market reports o) City skills lists o) Inner locations

and send it to sx6@g1.pbm.com. We'll include it into the next version of the Atlas.

The Atlas is available by ftp from your nearest PBM ftp site (ftp.erg.sri.com in the USA, check the PBM FAQ for other sites), in the directory /pub/pbm/olympia, as atlas.X, where X is the turn of the last update.

The Atlas is also available on the PBMGames forum on CompuServe, in the fantasy games section, as atlas.oly.

Brought to you by the Skulking Vermin (sx6)

Note!! Due to Real-Life (tm) commitments, the Atlas will be appearing irregularly, as I have time to assemble contributions.

-- Sludge [x0o]

Greetings Fellow Olympiads (reprinted by popular demand)!

The Liberty Confederacy is a loose defensive alliance of nobles who wish to pursue happiness with our liberties intact. We are establishing a peaceful and happy community in our beautiful homeland, the Blackroot forest of Northern Ossicus, more or less bu56-bw66.

Towards that end, peaceful, law-abiding travelers are welcome. Bandits, pirates, & their associates are advised to avoid the area for their own protection. Investors of any kind (merchants, inn-keepers, temple-builders, tower owners, miners, etc.) are especially welcome to civilize this untamed land (investors should contact me: we offer protection & won't charge you onerous & obnoxious taxes. pretty cool eh?). Travelers wishing to exploit the resources of these lands should contact us so we don't have harvesting conflicts (no need to give the gods of turn chaos any more help). Unapproved harvesting is frowned upon.

-- General Norc [z1a]

___ ___ ___ / / ) / ) /___ /___/ /___/ / . _ _ /_ / )_ __ / / _ _ . __ . _ / / / _> / /___/(_>/ //< of / / (_)|// / // (_>

The First Bank of Provinia has offices in some of the major cities on the continent of Provinia. The FBoP offers the following facilities.

o Special offers for New Olympia Players. o Excellent Interest Rates on Bank Accounts. o A Fast and Efficient Courier Service. o Money Transfers. o Short and Long Term Loans. o Insurance Policies. o Pawn Broking Service.

Call in at your local branch for further details.

-- First Bank of Provinia [v0z]

READ THIS BEFORE COMING TO GENTLEWIND, NEWLEAF, AND ENVIRONS

Visitors are welcome to the area controlled by the Cohorts of Colossus [vo4], as long as they obtain travel permits first. Not all requests will be granted. The affected area includes the land provinces bx25-bx27, by24-by27, and bz27.

To avoid possible misunderstandings, do not enter this area without a permit, nor collect resources without express permission. Violators of this policy may be subject to arrest.

I only rarely refuse reasonable requests, and then only because I've already granted my quota.

This policy helps ensure the security of all nobles within these lands. If you are interested in a franchise on collecting resources in one of these provinces, please contact me. I have friendly arrangements with several factions along these lines.

-- Sheriff Pelenth of Gentlewind [f3i]

Anyone needing the aid of a priest should feel free to contact me.

-- Ignatius [k9z]

MONTHLY NOTICE

The Brotherhood of Ormos claims the city of Avalon [ao0k] and all lands and resources inside the boundary of [bp05]-[bp08]-[br06] -[br09] inclusive, as its sole and lawful demense. Those wishing to visit Ormos are required to request a visa and await clearance before attempting to make landfall. All unauthorized visitors are unwelcome and looked upon with extreme prejudice. Captains needing to make landfall at Avalon for emergency repairs will not be molested, but are still required to contact me for a visa.

-- Pelinore Dragonslayer [p4s]

This is monthly notice if you wish to visit the environs of Cycarth and Redwine please be courteous enough to let m9l know (you can reach him at heyman@camis.stanford.edu. I do not currently plan to restrict access, but would like to know who is wandering around in my front yard. I would especially like to know if you plan on using any of the natural rsources (peasants, wood, and the like) in the provinces bt25 bt26 bt27 bu25 bu26 bu27 bv25 bv26 bv27 bw25 bw26 and bw27.

-- Darkman [m9l]

Well, it seems that our expeditionary force into Faery ran into a bit of a problem. Fortunately, nothing essential was lost (My primary rule being don't bet what you can't afford to lose). Therefore, may I present for general edification and entertainment the AOO defensive force of Faery:

Forest [he5e], forest, in Faery ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Routes leaving Forest: North, to Ocean [fw5k], 1 day East, to Forest [hc1r], 8 days South, to Forest [dj4w], 8 days West, to Forest [ia2k], 8 days

Inner locations: Faery hill [bq2a], faery hill, 1 day

Seen here: Puck [a7e], wielding crystal sword [bb4z] and Spear of Eadak [bb1g], wearing elven armor [cu5m], with 16 winged horses, five orcs, eight peasants, 46 savages, 35 soldiers, 15 workers, 47 riding horses, four warmounts, four oxen, accompanied by: Erin de Karith [h0z], wielding magic dagger [bj7p], with seven nazgul, one minotaur, 15 giant spiders, seven rats, eight lions, 24 giant birds, two giant lizards, one chimera, ten harpies, three wolves Lelldorin [fy4t], wielding Spear of Shavnor [bd0j], with 27 crossbowmen, 13 winged horses OneEye [e5y], wielding crystal longsword [it2z], wearing elven helm [ft9q], with three peasants, 11 soldiers, three riding horses, four winged horses, two nazgul, one centaur, 22 giant spiders, nine rats, 39 lions, one giant bird, 14 giant lizards, four chimera, 14 wolves Dahlia [d3g], with 284 crossbowmen, 16 elite archers, seven riding horses, 18 catapults, ten oxen Savage [gh2g], savage Jasmine [q2w], wielding golden dagger [hv0z] and Javelin of Estbeorn [ba8p], wearing Shield of Birdan [gc4g], with five nazgul, nine rats, 13 giant birds, seven harpies, 58 peasants, 137 soldiers, three pikemen, seven savages Oberon [fp6m], savage, "under player control", with 299 crossbowmen Robin [j2t], with one riding horse, one centaur, ten giant spiders, eight rats, seven lions, 14 giant lizards, 13 harpies Horned Goddess [a1y], with 22 peasants, two pikemen, two winged horses, one nazgul, two crossbowmen Siccum Rex [r8x], "wearing a black armband", prisoner Melina Blackwood [g6c], "Knight of the New Moon", prisoner Greywind [y9s], prisoner Garrison [bx9i], garrison, on guard, with ten peasants Faery Hunt [cu6b], elves, number: 20 Faery Hunt [bv4t], elves, number: 37 Faery Hunt [eu2d], elves, number: 24

-- the Crimson Sage

-- Seline Fireflower [w0l]

Waylander BronzeHelm has arrived in Imperial City and is gathering a group of travellers. Preparations are being made to build a ship and travel the high seas. Anyone interested can contact Waylander. All reply's welcome.

-- Waylander BronzeHelm [t5d]

Rumors

*****REWARD***** Wanted Dead:

Bastrestric ther Archymonaged

For continuing crimes against nobility, and for questioning in the untimely death of the dearly departed Miyuki-san.

Information leading to the death of BtA will earn a noble 1000 gold payable in IC.

Location reports should be placed in the Times *****REWARD*****

What can an "Enchanted Cave" be used for?

---> MAFOC: WHAT, STILL IN HADES? <---

What strange breeding combinations have been tried?

Heh, pots and baskets are still 2% of the income! 1837 gold received, I was 1/30th of that :)

Newbie Hotline Warning: Don t trust the Sherrif of Gentlewind. Word on the street of the IC is that he is AOO scum. Learn mining somewhere else.

The Masked One

GOOD GOLLY! I count something on the order of 1,000 troops on Mt. Olympus! There are hundreds in the IC, & no doubt the surrounding garrisons hold hundreds more. Yikes is right. Where's a good dog when you need one?

Hey, MaRat! So, when are you going to post that due to security demands you're having everyone that shows up in the IC killed at the first chance? After all, that's _dangerously_ close to Mt. Olympus.

To concerned newbies: I think the barrier in the Atnos channel has more to do with keeping dogs at bay then hunting you. This doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful, but it does mean that you shouldn't totally panic.

Let me also note that some of the newbie questions in the Times recently can be answered by refering to past issues of the Times. The above is a good example: AOO- dogmatix hostilities are public record & the recent loss of the Clan with No Name's castle on Illion by Dogmatix's hand shows that Dogmatix now has access to the Atnos Channel. Reason enough for a magical barrier.

What the heck is a Balestric anyway?

BtA -- public nuisance today, social disease acronym tomorrow!

"The significant owl hoots in the night."

Nasty, icky savages. Fortunately, you can eat them. Yum, yum.

At last, a fabled elfstone! Now I can travel in Faery without fear!

What's that? The AOO controls Faery?

Ummm...

Anyone want to buy an elfstone?

Quoth the sage, "Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened."

Xephyr, while it was kind of you to welcome visitors to the area of Ilion that you have "claimed" I hope you realize that the only reason I might wish to visit would be to crush you beneath my heel for your impertinence. Your claim has no merit and will be ignored.

There's gold in them thar hills Only problem is there's some slathering beasties guarding it.

How can I find gate crystals? Thanks for any help.

Gee whillickers! A _whole_ 100 gold for any info leading to the "overdue offing" of Barfethic the Fallenarchmage! Tell you what, pal - here's ten bucks, go off Bill Clinton.

" In response to the inquiry regarding the shape of Olympia which appeared in the last _Times_. I can speak from experience that the world wraps around itself from east to west, but do not have personal knowledge about any connection from north to south." -A Sailor

Due to popular demand Hodji's Heroic Hair Grower is back on the maket in the IC. Hundreds of happy customers now take their helmets off with pride. Get your bottle today and never again deal with the shame of a shinny head.

For your bottle of Hodji's Heroic Hair Grower send a self addressed stamped carrier pigeon to: Hodji's Heroic Hair Grower, 25 Smugglers Allery Box 34, IC, Provinia

Where does one learn weather magic?

The dark woods are quiet... for now.

This space intentionally left blank.

If you gather wood in the forests north of IC some of it will get wood worm and become unusable. If you mange to use it before the wood worm develops then your construction will turn into a pile of dust later! You have been warned.

Bad poetry from my desk... Death -- Boom -- Boom -- Boom -- Death. Written April, 1988 following an experience with a member of the fair sex.

Q: How many crossbowmen does it take to capture Chateau Olympique? A: The number we'll have ready on turn 57.

What's the socially redeeming value of Newbies? I don't know either?!

"so, you use dung to repair your ships? How novel the rest of us have to put up with plain old pitch. So tell us, just how water resistant is $&!^?"

When considering the use of dung in common tasks, it is vital to be aware of the age, condition, provenance and treatments, if any, pertaining to the dung in question. In the particular case in point, it has been shown by a team of my colleagues that a mixture of dried wombat dung remoistened with liberal quantities of arachnid spittle (ratspider preferred) has an almost 70% higher level of water resistance than comparable dung applied in the fresh state.

- A public service message from the Greater Provinia Dung Board

Is there a mailing list or something for discussion of Olympia?

>I've got a question: >Can anybody help me? >How many Americans, Englishmen >Scots, Frenchmen or Germans >are their playing Olympia >Only by the Compuserve or other >Computeradresses I can't tell >Please answer to the Times >thanx

One American

Ossicus' First Circus A Major Three Ring Circus opened on Ossicus! Trained animals performed free for peasants! Major Magical Feats and Treats for small change!

What happened to the Pilgrims Aid Society?

To he who asked if Nazgul can be bred from two other animals: Yes, but the effort is hardly worth it - the breeding stock is worth more than the Nazgul. To he who inquired about the average number of nobles: all I can say is that after a year of play I have my six original nobles and four nobles who were rescued prisoners.

How does a building determine which people get protected if there are more people in it than its capacity?

A Most Scholarly Review of Times 53

Q: How can 9 rats beat: 2 nobles, 15 peasants, 5 crossbowmen, 15 pikemen?

A: If stack leader Brave Sir Robin has his Break Point set to 100 it will cause him to soil his armor and yell Run Away! Run Away! after the first wave of killer rats attacks with their nasty sharp pointy teeth. ---------- ---------- Q: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?

A: 30 per province per month. ---------- ---------- No wonder the GM Gold report for Opium is $0... everyone is laying around swilling Orc Oil Ice-Brew! Who needs Opium when you can quaff a Slimy Cold one? ---------- ---------- She sells sea shells by the sea shore... at least she did until the AOO killed her. ---------- ---------- So just where is this Isle of Pallia anyway, that we all may avoid unfortunate misunderstandings? ---------- ---------- Heard aboard SS Minnow, 3-hr cruise ship hidden in a Fogbank in the Atnos Channel Skipper: "Inchme and Pinchme went out in a boat, Inchme fell in, so who was left?"

Ginger: "Pinchme"

Skipper:

Ginger: "Ouch!... oooh Skipper, how does that story go again?" ---------- ---------- Rubber baby buggy bumpers... free with every purchase of Orc Oil Ice-Brew!

NEWBIES UNITE!

In every OT there seems to be some negative remarks made about us new folks. I find it quite irritating. You've heard it before, but I'll say it again, "YOU WERE A NEWBIE ONCE!" Why is it that people must always forget that? Oh boy, I can beat a newbie. Sure you can, we haven't had a chance to train dragons yet, sure you can beat us, but is it a challenge. NO! Get a grip, give us a chance to breed our own dragons and then come after us, THEN it will be a challenge. Until such time, lay off!

Brought to you by NAGG, Newbies Against Greedy Gentry