Olympia Times 015

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+----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | The Olympia Times times@pbm.com | | October 5, 1994 issue g1-15 | | | | turn 15 165 players "Less ink, more think" | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+

Questions, comments, to play: info@pbm.com

Olympia PBEM

* * *

You smile upon your friend to-day, To-day his ills are over; You hearken to the lover's say, And happy is the lover.

'Tis late to hearken, late to smile, But better late than never: I shall have lived a little while Before I die for ever.

-- A.E. Housman

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Proposed FORM change --------------------

There was some discussion on the design list about improving the long-term (2-5 years) stability of the game. The concern is that some factions will have way too many nobles, i.e. 50-100+. While it is certainly reasonable for factions to control 20+ nobles, once you get up around 50 maintaining a position tends to become more work than fun.

To address this problem, it was suggested that FORM cost more NPs the larger a faction becomes:

faction size FORM cost ------------ --------- 1-10 nobles 1 NP 11-15 nobles 2 NP 16-20 nobles 3 NP ... and so on ...

Faction size includes nobles dead but not yet gone. It does not include units belonging to "control artifacts."

This is a proposed change. There will be a one week review period. Whether or not this change will be implemented will be announced in the next issue of the Times.

Important notice of rule changes -------------------------------- [reprint from last issue]

The following changes are now in effect:

1. Previously only a unit that directly initiated combat had to spend a day fighting. Stackmates of the attacker were not being charged a day delay too. While fixing this, I introduced a delay for the victim stacks also. On reflection, I have decided this is a bad idea. Henceforth, every member of an attacking stack will spend a day in the effort, but none of the defenders will incur a delay.

2. Fight to the death [9505] now lets you specify the break point of a unit exactly. The new syntax is USE 9505 .

old new meaning --- --- ------- use 9505 0 use 9505 50 break at 50% use 9505 1 use 9505 0 don't break -- fight to the death n/a use 9505 30 break at 30%

Note that "break at 30%" means that the side breaks when its total offensive plus defensive value falls to 30% of its original value.

Every player with a unit who knows the skill [9505] should have received a new lore sheet for this skill in their turn report.

If it didn't, you can request a new sheet from the scanner:

begin lore 9505 end

3. There was a flaw in the nearest graveyard computation routine. This problem has been corrected.

4. The maximum civ level a province may have is 6.

ALSO: As of turn 17, the SWEAR command will go away.

Player-contributed press

Journal - Harvest, Year 2

Study in the Wizards college is not as difficult as I had feared. But the greatest joy this month is to see my darling Ilyena Sunhair again. Regetably she can touch the Sindar no more easily than I can touch the Sandar. At least we can study these new schools together.

She also brought with her trusty Jearom Gaidin, the Captain or our household guard. Now we three can travel together to battle the shadow the seems to have fallen on the pattern here in Olympia, just as in every world the Portals touch. I am oddly comforted by that fact. For if this world is also touched by the shadow, then it touches my own and we may hope of finding a way home.

Now we must find someone to travel with as we leave this city. It is far too crowded.

The Lord of the Morning, The Dragon, Lews Therin Telamon [m3m]

The Sen clan plans to explore the graveyard at bq27 on turn 16. If you have any bodies that you want to reclaim, please contact John Sen[m6f].

The Sen Clan

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

The criminal faction known as the "Cohorts of Colossus" have *temporarily* escaped the righteous wrath of their latest victims, and are continuing their dark-hat activities. Law-abiding nobles everywhere in Provinia are cautioned to watch their backs! You are encouraged to attack & destroy nobles and property of this faction whenever encountered.

As it is written: "Gods do not protect fools. Fools are protected by more competent fools".

Where, oh where has my money gone? Oh where, oh where can it be? The return on my investments is taking so long, I'll just sit here and drink Tea.

You dare to complain about ME, nameless one, when you don't even supply your OWN id code?

Anyway, So, MAFOC is now in our sights, and the end is near for them. Later.

-- Squire Adam

Were the crew of the Peasant's Pleasureboat imperialistic adventurers or the victims of pirates. Any ship carrying invasion forces should expect risks and not be protected by offering rewards against the Excogitate Soliloquy defenders. If Excogitate Soliloquy practices piracy, then they are fair game. The question is which story is true. Also, anyone offering rewards should leave a valid faction id. I expect collecting from "other captains of the high seas" will be difficult. My faction id is not left for safety reasons, bitter invading forces are frequently violent and lash out at critics.

a confused vigilante hungry for rewards

Anyone have any thoughts on whether BirdSpy gets you information on inner locations? Does it really ever spot hidden locations (it never has for ME!)?

TRAVELERS ADVISORY

In what is being described as a "police action", multi-factional force has landed in Torba Bacor, with the expressed aim of bringing the rule of law to this heretofore wilderness. Groups of nobles have been scouring the island, and already a band of notorious highwaymen has been executed, after attempting to rob a lone horseman. "Just because the citizens of Torba Bacor are isolated from the bulk of Olympian society does not mean they should have to live in fear," said Coronal Stiamot, a spokesman for the as yet unnamed coalition. "Thieves prey on the unwary, wolves prowl the woods, and rats infest the streets. It is time that we put an end to such abominations, and bring civilization even unto the frontier." Stiamot's speeches have inflamed the populous, and mobs of peasants have been rushing to join the cause. Because of the current political instability, visitors are discouraged from visiting the island at the current time.

Land Claim

I am claiming the province of [bt22] and the four surrounding provinces. Peaceful travellers are welcome to pass through this area, the only restriction is that anyone passing through [bt22] itself is asked not to use any of the resources there. Anyone wishing to use the area as a safe place to build a tower or temple for research please contact me.

Amber [s0s]

Yew wood discovered. I will provide the location in exchange for the first 25 yew. The Merchant of Venice(x9j)

Island for Sale. Close to the Imperial City. Price is 2000 gold. Price is 5000 gold with a tower. Gilligan (u0x)

Extensive study into the uses of an enchanted staff has revealed that it has the capability to increase the current aura of a mage by 2. It has no effect when handled by anyone who has not studied the arts.

A public service message:

The PILGRIM'S AID SOCIETY wishes to let it be known that a travellers' advisory *is* still in effect for the areas around Gentlewind and Newleaf east of the Imperial City of Provinia. Small groups of nobles in the area are NOT repeat NOT advised without covering troops or other assistance. Central rumor control has stated that an AOO-associated group of bandit nobles are operating in the area.

OLYMPIA TIMES DATABASE

To keep track of all the good information/disinformation in the Times, I've compiled a database of all Olympia Times references back to oly1. If you have question on a particular item I would be happy to look up the reference for you to check that times issue yourself.

The subjects are listed under Name, unit code, and faction code (though of course many entries are missing one or the other). If an Times story has none of the three I didn't make note of the entry as I couldn't reference the item (and almost everything with none of those three tags is filler anyway).

Agusta faction [s3q]

Oft at pleasant morning, Sunshine all adorning, I've heard the horn give warning, With birds' mellow call: Badgers flee before us, Woodcocks startle o'er us, Swords make ringing chorus Mid the echoes all; The fox run high and higher, The maiden mourning by her, fowl he left in gore. Now, they fell the wild-wood, Farewell, home of childhood, Ah, Brave Coddington, Thy day is o'er!

Who's Got Rhythm??

While travelling in the Uldim Mountains, we encountered: xx: Beating drums may be heard to the east. xx: Beating drums may be heard to the west.

Does anyone know what that means? Would appreciate hearing from anyone who understands 'drum talk'

Axomin [k0d]

Journal Entry, Harvest, Year 2 of the Relocation - Gonzo Greybeard

War trumpets once again pierce the air. The thunder of the wardrums matches pace with the heart's beat. Once again we receive word that peace has fled the land. There are those who insist that they disrupt the lawful labor of others. What causes this aberration? What disease enters the misguided minds of those who must cause strife. We have been on this new world for just under 2 years, and less than 1/10th of the land has been explored. Those who lack the ambition to find their own are leeches on the face of the world, and like leaches must be burned off.

What is going on at Mount Olympus?

Travellers visiting Mt Olympus are advised to explore for inner locations. So far, Gamel's Helm, Crystal Armor of Lightning Protection, and Yaster's Scarab have turned up, one per month. Has earl marat chosen this province for a specific reason? What is he hiding?

Diary: Harvest, Day 2 So far, the Torba Bacor landscape has been without hazard, but somewhat barren. Forests have been found, but no yew groves. It appears we do not need to band together so much for safety, so we will form small parties and train soldiers for escort. This will speed up the mapping and exploration. I shall miss my comrades.

Aric awoke and flung open the shutters of the inn to gaze over the docks at the ships waiting to voyage over the sparkling blue waves to distant lands. As he left the inn to walk to the university, in his mind he was already in those faraway places, bringing order and the benefits of civilization to the poor peasants he would find there. Arics good spirits were abruptly dampened by the contents of a washbasin emptied on his head by an inattentive tenant on the second floor. Blinded by soapsuds, he was almost run over by a band on monks hauling a wagon and shouting "BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!". Aric hurried on to the university, wishing his studies were over so he could get away from this damned, overcrowded city.

After the long voyage comes the time of exploration of our new land. How carefree is the life of the mage explorer. Perform common tasks for gold for the local residents, then move on and explore the next region then move on, while your comrade mage does the same, first exploring then doing common tasks. The two of you explore two provinces a turn and each make 100 GP in the process. Each has his guard of 4 pikemen, so the dangers along the way can be dealt with. In the plains there is even a little time to recruit and train new soldiers.

Diary of a nervous traveller- a newbie alone in the forrest.

Why oh why had he let himself be talked into going east? That silvertounged and gold offering lord, Mirage, had said it was just some weeks travelling east. And then do some study (he did not remember exactly what at the moment) and return to me. And Mirage had offered him gold and promises upon promises.

Jurij sneered. An easy travel??? At first it had seemed a good idea. (of course that meant it HAD to be some sinister plan behind it.) He had even avoided the undeads he heard rumors about. Undead in the Imperial City??? Slavering gibberish drooling evil undead. They should be killed should they!

Travelling east had been smooth. The first days he had travelled together (not to close of course- who knew what they were up to) with a noble called Milamber, and this Nobles enurage, nobles Tiliara, Tanlman and their three soldier.

He had left them in Provinia and crossed the emporers forrest. Alone. Jurij felt safest alone. At least no one could doubble cross you when you where alone. But- then you never knew. Maybe they could? Maybe this Mirage allready had. What if he had NOT sent message to this Hussein character (a sinister name- smelling of assasiniation and death did it)? Jurij envisioned himself as hary food. He did not like the idea, but thought about it still.

Then he wondered what if Mirage had sent a message to Hussein. Maybe that ment Hussein would waylay him. And the result would still be harpyfood... What was worst? Harpyfood because he was betrayed or harpyfood because he was not betrayed? He did not know.

Five days alone in the wildernes. Then it stopped raining. All this changes in the weather! he would get a cold. he knew it! He entered a small town.

There was a garrison here. Hard eyed soldiers on duty. A bunch of wild men. (Ignorant barbarians.) A charachter called Vladislav the Mighty. Jurij liked that name. Antoher guy called Iphicrates. Jurij did not like that name. He could no even spell it. And this Ip- something had with him three other dubious characters, a Xenophon (sounded like a music instrument to Juirj), a William of Orange (a fruit???!) and Sultry Tones (music again). A pack of grey mean, hungry wolfes moved silently around, casting hungry glances at him. A female noble, Helen, was there too. She seemed harmless enough, travveling alone. But those seemingly harmless were always the most dagnerous. Jurij knew that well enough.

Hence by logic that guy Mirage whom had sent him on the trip must be the most dangerous. Keep your friends close they said, but keep your enemy even closer. Jurij would stay close to Mirage. Jurij would do his bidding. He would go east and study (whatever he was intended to study) and return. Thsu he could keep himself close to Mirage. And then he would unravel the evil plans of Mirage. Oh yes he would.!

Jurij Paranoiev stood up. He went east. Alone.

So who are these so-called citizens of Miso, and who put the crossbow to their head. Must be those "nobles" of the pirate Ex...Sol... (Someone take their Reader's Digest away, they are spending too much time in the bathroom.)

Peaceful expansion welcomed, first drink is on the house.

The Mellow Yellow Pub [y77], outside of Yellowleaf on the scenic western coast of Tollus. Angus McAttle [b60], proprietor.

Leo's Journal Entry 4...

Finally all that practice for capturing and training Beasts for Battle is complete, and we can begin to raise our banner in glorious combat! We did learn from our aborted attack on the cowardly Orcs that if you want to be sure that your victims do not escape, one must attack in the first 7 days (movement time to another area) or if they escape to an inner location, follow. And now, on to Battle!

Journal Entry, 7/03/02

The Gauntlet stands! A symbol of freedom for all, the ebony spires cut through the red-orange of sunset like a dagger. This dagger, however, will not be turned on the throats of Olympians, but on the cords which bind them.

Our band of followers continues to grow. If all goes well, we should be able to begin the construction of a larger stronghold in the near future. The time has come to establish a realm of liberty, of prosperity, of Chaos!

Graffiti Spotted on Chateau Olympique:

It's a Dog-Eat-Dog World and Bastrestric Wears Milkbone Underpants.

-- El Barto

"Wait" commands can be hell! Take that guy's advice and use time limits on your "waits," not units or locations!

sitting on a desert island.... waiting

Announcing... The Journal of the Schola Enigma

Due to an extremely underwhelming response to our initial offer in the last issue of the Times, we are raising the annual subscription rate for our new quarterly journal to 15000 gold (plus postage). Remember, this is the only journal of its kind available, with an exclusive focus on issues relating to the physical and metaphysical sciences. Subscribe today, and get the details on exciting research such as the following (to be included in an upcoming issue):

Time is cyclical and non-linear! Our research into various forms of communication and information sharing between individual nobles has revealed that time does not progress at a linear rate between this world and that 'otherworld' with which we are somehow connected.

As each month cycles into the next one, extended aetheric conversations become possible for a very brief period of time as the time frames in this world and the 'otherworld' come more or less into sync. But then time in our world speeds up dramatically relative to the otherworld. Aetheric communication is still possible to some degree, although it takes a full day to send a message of any length in this way, and it seems impossible to actually receive a response within the same month.

In order for aetheric communication to be at all useful during the course of a month, the content must be kept to an absolute minimum; essentially just a signal, like the wave of a flag. This presumably works in spite of the time differential only because the signal is near instantaneous.

For more information on how to subscribe to the Journal of the Schola Enigma, contact Locrian , Agent of the Schola Enigma .

Murphy's Law of Combat # 11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack. Murphy's Law of Combat # 12. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down. Murphy's Law of Combat # 13. If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush. Murphy's Law of Combat # 14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you. Murphy's Law of Combat # 15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing. Murphy's Law of Combat # 16. If you build yourself a bunker that's tough for the enemy to get into quickly, then you won't be able to get out of it quickly either. Murphy's Law of Combat # 17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. Murphy's Law of Combat # 18. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone. Murphy's Law of Combat # 19. When you've secured the area, don't forget to tell the enemy. Murphy's Law of Combat # 20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.

Here ye all magi. As all know, weather magic may be learned only in the cloudlands. However as our lore has not yet allowed us to leave the surface of the world itself, we need other means of travel to reach those far realms. If _you_ wish transport either to or from the cloudlands then a one way trip can be arranged, for 150 gold either way. Thats the cost of a Pikeman! Would you rather have access to the lore of the weather or have a pikeman? Extra luggage and guards will be transported at a cost of 1.5 gold/weight. Applications should be sent to h7e@g1.pbm.com

The wind blew across the plains, tossing strands of the woman's long hair over her face. She brushed the brown locks aside, and surveyed the prarie in front of her. One last catch. One more of the wild horses, and she would begin the process of training them, with the help of the villagers that had begun to follow her.

The common people had begun to follow her a few months back, somehow realizing what she was just now realizing about herself. The animals spoke to her in almost intelligible sounds that she heard without hearing. She could almost understand, but not quite yet.

She again focused her attention on the horses to her front, and readies her lasso. Ruminations would wait. There was work to be done.

Information wanted about the southlands. If any knowledge of areas south by sea from the Imperial City can be forwarded to me, it would be greatly appreciated. I wish to travel to this area with a minimum of conflict with those that are already there.

Roderick Blaine [m4w]

Will those harvesting lumber in the vicinity of Aethelarn please contact me so that we can coordinate the exploitation of the areas resources. We do not need to waste eachother's time by harvesting the same provinces.

Samuel Roughclaw [b0r]

What is the status of access to the Cloud Lands? Does the faction controlling the mountain restrict access? My fellows and I might wish to travel to that region, but do not wish to fight for that priveledge. Please inform me, or the community at large, of the situation.

Damon Swiftsure [j4c]

Land Ho! cried the lookout.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure" thought the Merchant Prince. That goofy lookout was crying land every third day. Inevitably it had turned out to be yet another tiny island with a dozen cyclopses or giant spiders holding still yet another king's daughter hostage. The cyclopses would chuck a few spears and the king's daughters would plead for help, but the ship's captain had sailed on, oblivious to all except the ultimate destination.

His reverie was broken as the rest of the crew took up the cry. He pulled out his glass and looked to the east. His heart leapt as his gaze fell on the welcoming mountains of Rimmon. His journey was complete. His new life was about to begin. To be continued...

Word has reached these western shores of the death of the noble Coddington. It has pierced us all to the heart. Coddington was one of olympia's true gentlemen. Part of no alliance nor gang; he was always ready to help those in need. When he was slain by person or persons unknown, he was attempting to recover the body of a deceased noblemen. Coddington was doing so, not as part of any dispute or altercation, but merely because he beleived he should help all his fellow beings.

We will miss you, Coddington, rest well.

Pilgrims Aid Society SORRY! The Pilgrims Aid Society has been painting the house (castle?) for the past week and has not been readily available. As these chores are wrapped up, the PAS will again be available for questions. Additionally, the first PAS Land Claim Log should be published in the near future. Thanks for your patience during this time.

Akmall Benhalla [p3p]

OK.. special deal this month, 10% off prices....

Pikemen available! Only 134 gold each! If you supply the peasant or wood they're only 99 gold. If you supply both wood and peasant then your price is 66 gold! Contact Rachet Storm at m7s.pbm.com for more details! (RCOMBER@delphi.com)

OP - Surgeon General declares the study of Necromancy adversely effects intellegence. It is true claims the Surgeon General. Anti-Life spells in the vicinity of the brain tends to kill brain cells. This may not be noticeable at first, but repeat exposure will definitely render one stupid. The results will progress until the afflicted is reduced to a zombie-like state. Symptoms include "fits of egotism",paranoia and a running off at the mouth. All are strongly advised to avoid the use of Necromantic spells and to avoid the vicinity of those who abuse such spells.

Dear Fellow Nobles of Olympia,

I am sure most of you are aware of the recent terrible depradations against the rare and beautiful great bird. Bands of irresponsible, thoughtless nobles are rapidly acquiring these treasures of nature and using them as shock troops in their grandiose schemes to further ravage our great natural heritage and greedily amass wealth and territory for themselves.

Please join with us in opposing this wanton destruction of the natural habitat and wasteful use of the gods bounty. Does not a true noble fight his or her own battles? Nobility is reflected in protecting the environment, not ravishing it.

Act now before it is too late. Send your contributions to Buri, m3w. Next month - our article will be 'Castles - an Ecological Disaster'.

IMPERIAL CITY (OP) - Defamation charges were filed today in the Imperial Court by the Olympian Order of Women (OOW). The papers submitted to the court indicate that they are seeking Imperial action against Calvin Trillion for fictitious articles published in the Olympia Times which defame the character of Miyuki [h3p], a student at one of the city's mystical colleges. The OOW joins the Olympian Order of Despots (OOD) who have brought similar claims against Mr. Trillion for remarks harmful to the reputation of Dr. Pain. The suit brought by OOD is said to ask for ten thousand gold in punitive damages. Mr. Trillion could not be reached for comments. Roida "Lionslayer" Dakanda, the president of the OOW said, at a news conference in Imperial City, "She is being harassed solely because she is a woman. It is clear to anyone in Imperial City that Miyuki has never left the city and that she is not half-Irish as alleged." An Asian rights group is also studying the situation based on unconfirmed rumors that Mr. Trillion harbors ill feelings towards Asian immigrants. No other explanations have been offered for these apparently unprovoked attacks. When asked for comment, Miyuki responded, "I am very angry that Trillion-san has said that I want my beloved Kovaq'nu dead. That is not true. I am waiting for him to return to me. I just wish to be left alone to study." Miyuki further denied having affairs within Imperial City or leaving the city since her arrival over a year ago. No evidence of her alleged affairs have been produced and observers in Imperial City confirm the latter claim. Several priests at the Imperial City temple said they were unable to discern the feelings of the Great Atnerks on this subject. Off the record, however, one priest suggested that Atnerks is aware of the situation.

He walked to the top of Dragonrock and looked down upon the coast of Torba Bacor. He had been here for months but now new arrivals have claimed to come from the south in the Times. "What will they do?" he asked himself. "Hopefully, they come in peace," he said aloud. That would be fine for him. If not, he would soon be ready. As he thought of his new neighbors he also thought of the creatures and rough terrain he had passed for these many months. He knew they wouldn't have an easy time of it. Perhaps it would be many more months before they stumbled upon one another. "How long before others find the way?" he asked himself as he climbed down from the peak of Dragonrock. He knew his days of free exploration would soon be over.

The small grove stood out from the surrounding forest as a darkened blot. Thick webs clung to the trees like Spanish moss in a swamp, and slight movements within the darkness told of vague breezes or things more sinister within.

The beastmaster watched the gove carefully, a large, heavy net held ready. Shortly, wisps of smoke began to drift across the grove towards them, moving with the wind. "Get ready!" he called softly. Around him, men-at-arms shifted their grips on pikes or nets, or nocked and drew arrows. One of the wolves standing next to him growled softly.

Suddenly, the grove erupted into motion. The webs trembled as half-seen creatures scrambled within, trying to avoid the thickening smoke. Then one dropped from the trees and scurried their direction, a multilegged, black, hairy beast the size of a man's torso. The beastmaster hurled his net perfectly and watched as the creature struggled within its coils, long fangs tearing ineffectually at the ropes and leaving greenish stains. As he grabbed up a long pole with a noose at the end, several well-aimed arrows flashed across the gap and pinned the net to the ground.

Half a dozen more of the huge spiders burst from the trees, and the men and wolves moved forward. The lead spider leaped, and a pikeman screamed as it clung to his chest and inches long venom encrusted fangs struck at his face. The archer next to him dropped his bow and drew his sword in one motion. The sword flashed, and the spider fell away in two halves. "Got 'im!" the skull-tattooed noble cried. "Did 'e git ya, lad?"

Meanwhile, the last spider spun, menanced by two wolves, while a net was dropped to settle securely over it. The beastmaster handed the pole to one of the soldiers, who smoothly looped one of the squirming bundles of net and spider and held it steady. "Not a bad haul," the third noble in their party came over to him as he watched the men tie the netted beasts into balls and load them into wicker cages. "And a good use for our basket weaving skills."

The beastmaster grinned. "Let's see what attracted them to this particular grove."

Moments later, the three nobles reached the center of the grove. The archer whistled in surprise as they studied the ancient stone altar there, and the shining spear, looking like it had just come from the forge depite the litter of leaves and old webbing across it, that lay upon it.

Extended Map of Olympia (fig. 1)

"Further published explorations of de south of Olympia are confirming my theory," Dr. Iago South Professor of Cartography at Imperial University, Imperial City said, as he opened his speach at Imperial University before a packed auditorium. "If Olympia extends south to de 'dv' latitudes, it is clearly much larger dan ve vere led to believe." This repeated earlier claims published in the Olympia Times. He paused for a moment. "I laugh at my critics," he said, to some applause, as he uncovered a map he had prepared. "If you look closely at dis map, you will see that dere is clearly enough room for not only one but many continents to de South of Krussos and Rimmon. Ve could hide Ossicus down dere!," he continued. This was a clear reference to suggestions made by others that Krussos and Rimmon occupied any additional space. "All de explorations to dis point have been showing a two to von distortion south of Imperial City between the rough map of Olympia and de real ting. Dis is true to de south of Rimmon and vonce we can see the south of Krussos, I vill be vindicated!" The auditorium rose and applauded for several minutes. "Recent discoveries show dat the vorld of Olympia is like a big cylinder in space. It wraps around like de cardboard in the center of a roll of toilet paper. Dis leaves plenty of room for new lands." The rest of the professor's speach offered a point to point analysis between the two maps to support his claims. Detractors were challenged to offer their own maps in support of their hypotheses. The professor offered no further analysis of the north, claiming that early reports indicate that northern distortions are probably much more sever and that further data is needed. However his current theories are likely to shake up explorations in the south.

Now the bold young Gaul Dogmatix, Thought that old men and rhuematics lacking proper prophylactics were the only ones defending Chateaux Olympique. Beware!

Filled with vengeance and desire, thought he'd smash the stately spire and a certain mage retire, Bastetric the Archymonag'd he of ivied underwear.

But when the battle ended His belief was held suspended- "I want the turn amended" For he saw an insect crawling through his corpses heretofore.

But the end's not that surprizing, for the castle'd still be rising, and Dogmatix oxidizing For the cavalry was coming to escalate the war.

So forbear your mewlish whining. You've got a casket shining and though Doggy is repining he'll get hymns of praise and glory till our times be days of yore...

Only that, and nothing more.

Rats!

There are rats everywhere small toebiters, fingernippers, legmunchers, tiny earknibblers, elbowchewers, nosecrunchers, miniscule hairchoppers, nailslicers, nipple.... And then there are the big ones that look live wolves. And maybe they are.

They seek him here, they seek him there; Those Avenging nobles seek him everywhere. Is he in the Cloudlands? Is he in hell? That demmed elusive Percival!

From "The Scarlet Percival" by Baroness Orcsie

We, the mostly harmless, by the right of the people, claim the arc of Rimmon, lying between cl98, cq89 and cq95. Having set forth, explored, and settled this corner of the world, and having won the hearts and minds of the peasant folk, we have decided to call this modest bit of land "Home". Visitors are welcome with prior notification, and without armed forces. Would-be gourmands entering our humble inns will be removed and sent through the nearest gate to Hades.

Kiri, Holy Spokesperson for the

'Mostly Harmless'

Alas poor Coddington! I knew him well...

why o why did the AOO psychopaths kill him after giving him "permission" to enter "their" domain to exhume a body?

And how do they expect anyone to believe their post facto rationalization that he hadn't been given permission, when they do the same sort of random killing all the time?

After all, they wouldn't even know why he was there if he hadn't himself told them his intentions in advance.

And he wouldn't have turned up if they hadn't been condescending enough to tell him he could.

The only question remaining is: did they decide to ambush him before he entered the location, or was it just another AOO sociopath that hadn't murdered anyone for a couple of turns...neither Coddington nor any other member of his faction has been aligned with any group. Essentially, they killed him simply because they could...

For any travellers new to Provinia, the AOO is the so-called Ancient Order of Olympians, hitherto the only totally irrational and gratuitously homicidal alliance in the game. Their power base is the castle "Chateau Olympique" in bx22, built in order to intimidate new nobles in the Imperial City; the ridiculous "earl" Marat has already garrisoned absurdly large areas of Provinia, deliberately breaking treaties in the process.

CALL TO ARMS! All right-thinking nobles will wish to avenge Coddington, Dogmatix, and the many innocent nobles who already have been murdered by the AOO renegades (you know, the people who never did it and therefore never have to say they're sorry). If you aren't strong enough to assault the castle, at least you can destroy the AOO's economic base by destroying Chateau Olympique's Garrisons, currently spreading like a cancer across Provinia.

These are mostly isolated and extremely vulnerable to attack. The AOO isn't strong enough (yet) to defend these in a big way, and if they come out of their fortifications to do so they'll leave the castle itself vulnerable.

Psychopaths running around the countryside are one thing, but psychopaths running the country are quite another. If we all are dumb enough to allow these vulnerable Garrisons to remain, the AOO soon will be economically invincible and able to sustain a huge army, and we'll have no-one to blame but ourselves.

I can't sign this. I don't want to meet with a terrible accident, even if it has nothing to do with the "innocents" at the AOO.

I have been trying to decide weather to carry around pots or baskets on the new world. It seems that of the 26 cities that I know of, 14 buy pots and 12 buy baskets. Pots weigh 5 times more than baskets, but only pay 7/4 as much. So I think it comes down to how much can you carry. If you have a lot of carrying capacity, then carry pots. If not, then carry baskets. If you can't decide, carry both. See if I care, when I take them all away from you.

Uncle, The most wondrous things have been happening to my brothers and i since we have left imperial city. We have visited the city of newleaf and learned the wonderful science of alchemy. Then just last month we came across a rat with a crystal helm{bi1w}. I must admit he looked a little silly with that thing on his head and i think a fellow noble is about to seperate its head from its body. we are spending our inheritence wisely and will cross the known frontier this month so we should have even more interesting tales in the future. Sol

Oleg the Loudmouth's (Free!) Lore Archive has been updated!

The long promised tomes of new knowledge are now available! The new tomes are: lore.new, which is all lore found in this world, and lore.diff, which gives the differences between the lore of this world and the lore of the alpha-test world. As usual, no fee is collected, nor will none be paid for any contributions. Do a good deed today and contribute: Lore should be free!

As usual, these tomes may be obtained by contacting me directly, or from your favorite archive.

-- Oleg the Loudmouth [b2q]

Dear diary, Today we left Provinia, probably forever. I do not think the captain has decided on our final destination -- he spends all his time in his cabin staring over the charts for Torba Bacor, West Camris, and other northern lands. He is already muttering to himself: "Where can we go? Where can we go?" I wish we knew which lands were inhabited and which were still virgin wilderness -- it would make our decisions so much easier. The captain claims he has done all he can to find out about prior explorers; I think I believe him. Well, at least I'll finally get to practice my archery.

Cold as clay before, but now surrounded by the coruscating healing magics, his eyes open, and stare at infinity as if contemplating visions too horrible for the comprehension of a mortal. "A vision came to me, as I lay in the beyond, of vast machineries at work. The universe is not as we imagine, but is the plaything of beings who care no more for us than the characters in a story. I must ponder the implications of this knowledge."

"Hey Jed, you hear about that Percy the Priss?"

I heard he got them Right Coast Vengers all in a tizzy...

"Yup. He's gottem running around like ratspiders with their fangs cut off!!"

Hmmm. They're falling for it, aren't they.

"They don't know a thing. Pretty soon the whole horde will come outta the graveyards, behind their lines. There'll be good feasting then!"

It's so easy to deceive the righteous. But of course, MAFOC only destroys the very best... Back to work, Murrk.

"Damn. I'm getting so tired of torturing the dead. I hope we get summoned soon. I wanna munch on some nice juicy priest flesh!"

Soon, Murrk. Soon MAFOC will call us. Soon...

GALLEYS MAKE POOR SEA KAYAKS, FINDS INTREPID CAPTAIN

One-Man Crossing of Provinia Channel Unlikely

[C]- Provinia Imperial Street Journal: Most of the heroes of Olympia have had their doubters- few thought that Atnerks could fashion a world out of lifeless clay, many doubted that Calvin Trillion could survive a meal at Dr. Pain's Inn, and derision met the claim by a lone angry dog that he could bring Chateux Olympique to the brink of ruin. Hindsight notwithstanding, some dreams are better off unrealized. They laugh at Oleg the Loudmouth, chuckle politely at the Forces of Chaos, and indulge the monomania of Kovaq'nu- all with some reason. Yet another brilliant madman has appeared on the scene, determined to pursue his wild quest for reasons that escape rational analysis. The Journal has discovered that a single noble, his name withheld here pending notification of his kin or guardian, is attempting to cross the Provinia Channel in a galley without benefit of crew. The boffin had apparently hewed a galley from a supply of lumber, dismissed his workers, released his peasants, and climbed aboard the galley, determined to row himself across open ocean in search of some elusive goal visible only to himself. Another noble of his faction, left behind by the untimely departure, could only shake his head sadly at the futility of it all. "I had heard of another madman, who took a roundship to Atnos, but he only paid a penalty of 8 days. Look out there- it's takem him 15 days just to put to sea. Ah, the waste of it. If only he hadn't tried to save a few days by setting up a split-second timetable. I would've been there to help. This is the greatest Crowhurst in the history of Olympia, by far. I wish him godspeed, and I hope he finds whatever he's looking for, out there." Donations to the Bastrestric the Archymanged Foundation for the Terminally Belligerent are requested in lieu of flowers.

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. John Lennon (1940-80),

The Imperial City Logging Corporation is open for business. Contact mmwang@mv.us.adobe.com if you wish to place an order for wood.

****************************************************** **** NEWS FLASH **** EMPEROR'S FOREST **** ******************************************************

What is the world coming to? Last month violence erupted once more in our peaceful lands. Did the Emperor do anything, NO! Has the evil bandits been, brought to justice, NO! Has the East Coast Avengers once more come to our rescue, NO!

Maybe it is time for the peasants and peaceful farmers to gather their pitchforks and torches, and throw the useless Emperor out? Throw all the Nobles out, and once again have a peaceful world.

Maybe time will tell, maybe not...

At last, we have reached our destination! It will be good to feel the ground under our feet, and the trees over our heads. Already the scouts report that mountains abound in this new land, and it will only be a matter of time before a suitable castle site is found. All hail the Clan! All hail to our birthright!

- Clan Shado

THE TIMES COMMENTARY

(An occasional feature of the Times, in which we comment on the previous issue's bilgewater mix of lies, propoganda and boasting...)

REAL IMPORTANT STUFF, PART I:

>Important notice of rule changes >--------------------------------

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

TROUBLEMAKERS, PART I:

>TRAVEL ADVISORY: There has been another attack in the Gentlewind >area. Percival the Prim [r7m] attacked a noble in bx27. Retaliation >by the Iron Nation is expected. Uninvolved nobles are encouraged to >avoid the area. This conflict could easily spread to the Imperial >City area, especially Mt. Olympus.

Now, now. Let's not try to stir up trouble.

UH, DUH?

>Here is a puzzler: A Gatemaster performed Detect Gates and >determined that the nearest gate was one province away. A >Gatemaster in an adjacent province performed Detect Gates to find >the nearest gate was four provinces away! Does anyone have an >explanation for this discrepancy?

You read your turn wrong?

THE IRON NATION BATTING REPORT:

>A public notice to the dishonorable dirtbag nobles of the faction >optimistically named "The Cohorts of Colossus" (v04): > >Be careful what you wish for - you might get it. > >>>>Quite<<< soon, I'm sure.

Swing and a miss! Strike one!

REAL IMPORTANT STUFF, PART II:

>So what makes life real? By what criteria can I distinguish this >life in Olympia from the "real life"? [etc.]

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

THE MIYUKI COUNT:

3 mentions.

TROUBLEMAKERS, PART II:

>Opportunities to test the combat system have been made available by >the generous count marat [g3y] who has been putting garrisons all >over the continent after he finished his castle on Mt Olympus.

You notice how everyone wants someone *else* to antagonize these Ancient Order of Olympia guys?

BORING FICTION CONTESTANT #1:

>Journal Entry, Thunder & Rain, Year 2 of the Relocation - Gonzo >Greybeard...

Save your votes till the end, please.

BORING FICTION CONTESTANT #2:

>Diary: Thunder and Rain, Day 19

Please, God, a ban on "diary" contributions!

NEWBIE "OOPS" OF THE TURN:

>Ship Graveyards Growing > >It seems like ships are becoming very cheap nowadays. There are at >least 5 of them left ownerless in the coast of Provinia alone, and >most ships were used to go on one way trips to distant lands.

Tell that to the noble in the IC who just paid 1500 for a ship.

BORING FICTION CONTESTANT #3:

>Leo's Journal Entry 3...

Personally, I like Leo's journal much better than the others. It's shorter and doesn't take as long to skip.

STEALING FROM ROBERT JORDAN, PART I:

>Lews Therin Telamon stood beside the Portal Stone...

THE GREAT OLEG, PART I:

>Oleg the Loudmouth's (Free!) Lore Archive has been updated!

And worth every penny you pay for it.

THE GREAT OLEG, PART II:

>The Olympia Atlas is accepting contributions, and is available for >download!

The Great Oleg has at least one disciple, it seems.

STEALING FROM ROBERT JORDAN, PART II:

>When Mat Perrin, the Lord High Mayor of Mysa...

At least he didn't use Nynaeve. I never did figure out how to pronounce that.

UH, RIGHT:

>In that case, let me state that when travelling to Tollus please >contact me so that I can advise you of whatever ruffians or rogues >are in the area.

...and add you to the list.

EXCESSIVE USE OF CAPITALS WARNING:

>Despite the glowing letter in the last edition of the Times >extolling the pastural splenders of Newleaf and Gentlewind >I feel COMPELLED to warn your readers that there is a TERRIBLE >PLAGUE inflicting this area. This is a man-made CATATROPHE >of the worst kind for it is the result of MORAL DEPRAVITY. I >am refering to the SALE OF OPIUM!!! [etc.]

Next time, we take away your shift key.

DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT:

>My companions and I are about to set forth on an epic voyage of >exploration to the far flung reaches of this as yet unfamiliar new >world.

Could I interest you in this slightly-used copy of the Atlas?

DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT, PART II:

>We, The Kindly Ones, have decided to seek adventures, fame and >fortune (whichever comes first) elsewhere.

Sorry, we already gave away our Atlas.

BORING FICTION CONTESTANT #4:

> "Yellow sons of orcs..." > That was all he'd said. He'd scented the wind, spoken, and >suddenly Brandon had brought them all to a halt...

Well, at least it's not a journal entry.

THE IRON NATION BATTING REPORT, PART II:

> "Men, comrades, I deeply regret the need, the unavoidable >need, to dishonor you with battle against Percival." ... > "I attack at dawn," he finished quietly. "I would be honored >to fight by the side of any who would join me." > The next morning, not a man had left the ranks.

Not until Percival killed them all off, anyway.

A LITTLE FULL OF HIMSELF:

>A small space was kept clear around the beastmaster's table, mostly >caused by the two large, half-tamed wolves that lay on the floor >near his feet.

In my old neighborhood you didn't call yourself a beastmaster until you had a dragon or two.

I ALSO HAVE A BRIDGE FOR SALE:

>I Captain Agaric have discovered the location of some valuable winged >horses. For those who may be interested in these fine steeds I offer >precise details of their location for a consideration. They are located >within a months travel of the Imperial City.

Of course the current owner might object to you taking them.

A LITTLE FULL OF HIMSELF, PART II:

>Baron Marat did survey the lands from atop his perch on Mt.Olympus and >spake, go forth my minions and claim all the land, even the farthest >corners of Olympia shall be mine, leave not a square inch unclaimed, all >shall be mine.

In my old neighborhood, you didn't call yourself a Baron until you'd killed a Dogmatix or two.

BORING FICTION CONTESTANT #5:

> How I desire to look again into your eyes which glow like the most >precious of gems. How much longer will this journey take?

The real question is how much longer you'll continue to inflict this on the rest of us.

WHAT DID I DO WRONG?

>P.S.: All seafarers should be on the lookout for inner location >Maelstrom [aa0m] which was first spotted in Ocean [br33] but has >since moved at one province per month due east!

Please remember that posting useful information to the Times is strictly prohibited.

BORING FICTION CONTESTANT #6:

>Shay gently took the mangled body from the mausoleum, whispering to >it, "Soon you'll be among us again, Wanderer be willing".

Looks like a six-way tie so far.

IRONIC COMMENT DIVISION:

>As I believe I observed earlier, the most powerful of beings are >not necessarily the most intelligent, nor, indeed sane, nor well >mannered.

As should be obvious from your posting.

THE IRON NATION BATTING REPORT, PART III:

>Sign found tacked on the Fatted Boar [k51], in province by24: > > Proprietor must sell due to recent death in the family.

Next batter, please!

HEY I CAN DO THIS TOO:

>This is what Mt. Olympus looked like at the end of this past >Blossom Bloom when the turn was re-run to test the bug-fix : > >Inner locations: > Lair [ao9s], lair, 1 day > Chateau Olympique [s85], castle-in-progress, 85% completed, > 39% damaged, owner: > * Dogmatix [c8c], with one pikeman, four giant spiders, one > giant bird, six harpies, three peasants > Tower of the Art [q45], tower, defense 20 > tower of the wheel [q40], tower, defense 20, owner: > Charmen [q5z]

No, this is what Mt. Olympus looked like:

^ /*\ /***\/\ /****** \ / \ / \

Sort of, anyway.

NEWBIE "OOPS" OF THE TURN, PART II:

>Young Coddington, a member of a newly arrived faction, despite my >(Dogmatix) urgings for caution, exhumed my dead body and attempted >to remove it from the AOO controlled graveyard just north of >Mt. Olympus.

Young Coddington obviously believes too much of what he reads in the Times.

I HAVE A QUESTION:

>An amazing discovery, Master. I was exploring hell, and encountered >a group of Greater Demons.

Did any of them look like Oleg?